


my heart's the same

by k8lyn



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Pining, except not really... i can't write angst but i tried, kind of a team 7 fic but really narusasu centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-14 07:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k8lyn/pseuds/k8lyn
Summary: Pain is familiar. Welcome, really, to someone like Sasuke, who has felt the sharp heat of loss and the cool slice of metal through his skin. In all honesty, Sasuke has endured so many different types of pain for such a long time that he has forgotten what it feels like to be healed, or at least not in a constant state of hurt.Looking at Naruto hurts Sasuke, sometimes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so my dumb ass DELETED CHAP ONE along w all the comments so if ur coming back to look at what u've said im so sorry that the comments are gone rip please comment again if you'd like but yeah this is chap one.. again.. 
> 
> this is my first fic !!!! i hope u guys like it

Pain is familiar. Welcome, really, to someone like Sasuke, who has felt the sharp heat of loss and the cool slice of metal through his skin. In all honesty, Sasuke has endured so many different types of pain for such a long time that he has forgotten what it feels like to be healed, or at least not in a constant state of hurt.

Looking at Naruto hurts Sasuke, sometimes.

On occasion, he feels a pang not unlike being stabbed in the chest when he glances at Naruto, catching him in a rare moment of quiet reflection. Or when Naruto's enthusiastically retelling a story, his blond hair in disarray and eyes shining with mirth. Sometimes, when watching Naruto, even Sasuke's eyes will hurt, and for a single, panicked moment he believes he is going blind again. Looking at Naruto is like looking into the sun; he is too bright, too warm, too radiant. Sasuke is afraid to lose his vision.

Sasuke doesn’t know how to feel anything but pain. Anger only blooms from injury, and feelings like pride and happiness and love cloud judgment. Emotions served no place during wartime, so Sasuke bottled them up and left them buried deep.

Now, the war is over, they won, and Sasuke doesn’t have any goals or vendettas or ambitions. He doesn’t have a purpose for the first time in his eighteen years. He hates it, he hates the pain, he hates the emptiness, but it’s all he has. 

—————

Sasuke sulked his entire way from ANBU headquarters to Konoha’s largest hospital. 

He had been back in the village for six months and still couldn’t find anyone willing to hire him. Leaf village shinobi and civilians alike refused help from him because of his unsavory past—specifically the international terrorism, assassination of an elder council member, and association with people like Orochimaru and Madara Uchiha— despite Sasuke trying his best to explain that he’s grown into a better, kinder person. Though Sasuke himself doesn’t fully believe his words, the rejection still stings. 

Especially today, when the ANBU captain declined his application into the force, claiming that ranks were completely filled. _Bullshit,_ Sasuke had thought, _how can ANBU be fully staffed? Just because a war ended doesn’t mean people aren’t getting killed. Wait two hours until someone gets blown up or stabbed by rogue nin, and give me their position._ Of course, Sasuke hadn’t said that. He just nodded and walked out.

It’s not that he’s eager to be ANBU, he just knows his skill level is above nearly every member, and being treated like some D-class ninja pisses him off. 

Sasuke stopped his musings when he neared the hospital doors. He opened the door with his intact arm and stepped inside. 

The secretary at the desk was a young lady who Sasuke often saw during his weekly visits, as Sakura ordered. The lady was currently on the phone, but she quickly ended the call when she saw his approaching figure.

“She’s on floor three, in room 304,” was all the woman said, and Sasuke was a bit grateful to not have to initiate conversation.

As Sasuke walked toward the room, he overheard a loud, achingly familiar voice. “Aw, thanks, Sakura! I’m trying really hard to gain control of this hand, and it’s totally working. Look at this!”

Sasuke opened the door to find Naruto seated on a hospital chair, bending fingers on his right hand while Sakura held his arm steady. Ever since the two boys blew each others’ dominant arms off in their last fight in the Valley of the End, it had been an annoying, tedious road to recovery. Sasuke hated any sort of setback, and losing an arm is a huge one. They had both gotten prosthetics, which miraculously allowed them to focus chakra and regulate arm movement, but it was draining and a bit difficult. Sasuke was miserable at using his prosthetic at first, but he practiced and became proficient, as always.

Sasuke watched as a ball of chakra formed at Naruto’s fingertips. Naruto’s eyes reflected the blue glow, and his teeth flashed a grin. 

Naruto looked up, meeting his gaze with Sasuke's, and murmured joyfully, _“Rasengan.”_

Sasuke darted his eyes from Naruto’s face, experiencing the strange pain that always comes with proximity to Naruto, and observed Sakura as she whistled, impressed.

“Damn, Naruto. I didn’t think you could do hand signs, let alone attempt a jutsu with that hand. That’s incredible,” she said.

Naruto was awestruck. “Holy shit, you just complimented me! That never happens, not even after I saved the world. Do you ever remember her saying something nice to me then, Sasuke?”

Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke, obviously expecting an answer.

“I’m not sure, she might have said something nice to you while I was in prison,” Sasuke replied after a beat, reflecting back to those three months spent in an ugly cell. He got off early due to good behavior, some strings pulled by Kakashi, and Naruto’s ability to relentlessly beg and annoy correctional officers.

There was a pause. Up until this point, Sasuke had never spoken about his imprisonment, and Sakura and Naruto just assumed it was because he was still bitter. However, Sasuke didn’t say the words in a withering tone. In fact, one could have said that Sasuke was _joking._

Sasuke was bitter, but he realized it was easier to joke about his dark past than to appear affected. He was playing a role like he had all of his life; now, though, it was a positive one. If people were going to accept Sasuke back into society, it would be best for them to assume that he had become a good person.

There was silence, and then, Naruto’s smile turned up a few hundred watts.

“No fucking way, Sasuke just made a joke! The world is turning upside down. I don’t know either of you. I’ve gotta be dreaming,” Naruto swooned onto Sakura’s shoulder, and she laughed.

At times like this, Sasuke saw just how much the two have grown together during the years Sasuke spent away from the village. They’ve cried together, leaned on each other, and forged a deep emotional connection that Sasuke will never be able to touch. Sakura and Naruto were left behind, and they became stronger because of it. They are Team Seven, and Sasuke is a mere stranger.

Their bond hurt Sasuke, more than he had ever expected it to.

“Naruto, your time is up. I have other patients today,” she gestured to Sasuke.

Naruto grumbled and pouted. “This is blatant favoritism and I will not stand for it. You only spent thirty minutes with me. Do you not love me anymore?” 

He continued his whining, and Sasuke could have rolled his eyes. Anyone could see that Sakura would do anything for Naruto, and if she had to choose between the two, Sasuke would be left in the dust. Not that Sasuke could really blame her. When he was younger, he blatantly disregarded her feelings, disrespected her, and even tried to kill her once. That would put anyone off. 

Sasuke didn’t deserve either of them. He had no clue why they still made an effort to help.

Naruto hugged Sakura tightly and started towards the door. He sent one last brilliant smile in Sasuke’s direction, clasping his shoulder on the way out. 

Sasuke, ignoring the phantom feeling of Naruto’s skin on his, quickly took Naruto’s spot in the chair. The seat was still warm.

“You two are too much for me,” Sakura said, looking at the closed room door.

Sasuke didn’t respond.

“I heard you went to ANBU earlier today. Did they give you a job?” Sakura asked, still trying at conversation. Sakura was hopeful, it seemed.

Sasuke was pretty sure that even if he did get a job with ANBU, he wasn’t supposed to go around advertising the position. Most ninja occupations were top secret, ANBU especially.

Nevertheless, Sasuke replied with a bland tone, “No. Their ranks were full.”

“Bullshit,” Sakura answered scathingly. Sasuke was slightly mollified at her reaction.

“Maybe. Probably. But it’s not like I can question them. The only reason they even let me apply was that Kakashi just became Hokage, and I was his student. No one wants to slight him now.” Sasuke knew if it was up to ANBU or the council or any of Konoha’s nin, they’d have Sasuke in front of a firing squad in an instant. _Cut down by my own village, just like the rest of my clan,_ Sasuke thought. Dying in a similar fashion sounded like poetic justice. He would be an Uchiha until the very end.

Sasuke was snapped out of his fantasies of being executed by Sakura’s voice.

“Kakashi already hates being Hokage, and it’s been a week. ‘Too much paperwork,’ he said. How lazy is that? It’s not like he even has to do any of it, he already has tons of aids. He just has to talk to other leaders and make treaties. This isn’t a trying time for us, we’re probably more at peace than we’ve ever been.” Sakura took hold of Sasuke’s right arm and began to take his blood pressure.

Sasuke could have guessed as much. As talented as Kakashi was, he really had no motivation to lead.

“He’s already looking for someone to take his place if you can believe it.” Sakura continued, letting go of his right arm to grab his left. “And I’ll give you one guess who his top choice is.”

Sakura looked into Sasuke's eyes, expectantly.

“Naruto’s eighteen. He can’t lead a village.” Sasuke replied, but he wasn’t quite sure. Naruto could do anything he wanted, it was part of his charm. He could convince the moon to fall out of the sky, or the earth to stop turning if he wanted to.

“Gaara was fifteen when he became Kazekage. But anyway, that’s not what Kakashi was insinuating: he wants to train Naruto first, make sure he’s ready, and then let him become Hokage a few years down the road.”

Sasuke thought back to the short time when he wanted to become Hokage, when he believed he could be the one to correct a corrupt system. He wanted to end Konoha’s neglect of orphans. He wanted powerful families to be treated like people instead of chess pieces. Sasuke wanted to give children a choice whether or not to become a ninja, and not just have their parents make that decision for them.

Of course, he later realized that there was so much more to becoming Hokage: that Sasuke always had to put the village’s safety above his own life, that he needed to have the courage to make tough decisions for the sake of others, and that he never would get a single moment to be by himself.

Sasuke didn’t even _like_ Konoha, why would he give up his life for it?

“It’s too bad Naruto doesn’t want the job.” 

Naruto, on the other hand, would be an amazing Hokage. He is selfless and stupid and brave—

Wait. 

“What?” Sasuke asked, not even making an effort to hide his surprise.

Sakura looked pleased to have caught Sasuke off-guard. It must have been a nice change from his practiced disinterest.

“Yup. He said no before Kakashi even finished the question. He thanked Kakashi for the offer, then turned out of the Hokage’s office and left. No one knows why. I wasn’t even there, actually, Shikamaru told me yesterday.” Her eyes shone with interest.

Sakura then asked Sasuke to bend each finger on his left hand, and then to make a fist. Afterward, she asked if he’s been experiencing any pain.

Sasuke shook his head, but his mind was far from the hospital room. Why would Naruto decline the offer? What made him change his mind? It was his dream from when he was a child, wasn’t it? Sasuke got his own dream—at least before a harsh light was shed on his brother’s past— so why shouldn’t Naruto? How well does Sasuke actually know Naruto, if he didn’t foresee this?

Sasuke was gone for five years. A lot can happen to a person during that time. He should know.

—————

Sasuke just wanted to sleep. He was exhausted after his rejection from ANBU and conversation with Sakura, and even though the sun hadn’t even set, he was anxious to go home and rest. Not that he found much solace in dreams.

However, Sasuke’s feet seemed to have a mind of their own. 

Sasuke turned away from the road that led to his home and soon found himself standing feet away from Naruto’s apartment. He hadn’t forgotten about what Sakura had said. _It’s too bad Naruto doesn’t want the job_ kept gnawing at the back of his mind. 

Evidently, the words bothered him enough to warrant a visit to Naruto’s home.

Up until a few weeks ago, Sasuke’s every move was tracked. ANBU and jounin alike watched him like hawks to make completely sure of his intentions in Konoha. They stood outside his bedroom, peeked in windows, and probably followed him to the toilet. Their presence was suffocating, and Sasuke never visited Naruto—or anyone, really—during that time.

Sasuke wasn’t sure that he really wanted to visit Naruto now, either. He was the closest thing Sasuke had to a friend, before and after his defection, and Sasuke is unsure how to maintain that tentative friendship.

Sasuke cursed his traitorous feet for leading him there, and turned away, only to hear a door open, and Naruto’s unmistakeable voice. 

“Hey, bastard, are you just gonna stare at the door or come inside? I could feel your chakra signature a mile away, and I don’t want neighbors to call the police and report that Sasuke Uchiha is stalking the building.”

Naruto looked comfortable. He was wearing a rumpled T-shirt and orange sweatpants. It was jarring to see Naruto in something other than his hideous jumpsuit. Naruto looked human. He looked attainable.

Sasuke nodded after a moment and walked into Naruto’s apartment.

Naruto hadn’t moved from the apartment he had as a child, despite the fact that he could undoubtedly afford to live in one of Konoha’s nicer districts. He probably stayed here for sentimental reasons; in a world where everything in constantly shifting, some familiarity is welcome.

Sasuke only vaguely remembered Naruto’s apartment from their genin days. It was as messy as one could expect from a 12-year-old boy, filled with empty ramen cups and kunai dangerously lying about and clothes strewn haphazardly. There was something inexplicably lonely about the sight, he remembered. If Naruto had parents to enforce rules, someone to pick up after him, an adult to scold him for leaving out weapons, his home wouldn’t look like that. Naruto lived alone his life entire life, and for all his immaturity when he was a boy, he had to grow up very fast.

Now, Naruto’s apartment was still messy, but his clothes were hung out on a line, the plants he had in the living room were thriving, and there were no signs of dust on his mantel or stains on his furniture. Naruto could take care of himself.

He saw the picture of Team Seven on the mantelpiece, Naruto and Sasuke glaring at each other while Sakura and Kakashi kept the peace. That moment felt worlds away. He looked at the only other photo in the room, which featured the Fourth Hokage smiling with a beautiful woman. They both looked very happy and very in love. Their resemblance to Naruto was startling.

Sasuke felt like he was glimpsing into Naruto’s soul, even though he was just in an apartment. Being here felt dangerously intimate.

Naruto noticed Sasuke’s line of sight. “They’re heroes,” Naruto said matter-of-factly. “I’m so proud to be their son. But I miss them every day.”

Sasuke turned his eyes to Naruto. Naruto wasn’t looking at him anymore, instead focusing on the photo of his parents, his mind far away. Naruto had gotten older, no longer the lanky boy he used to be. His face had gotten sharper, his jawline more defined, his scars a stark contrast to an otherwise unmarred face. He looked more content with himself. Confident.

Right now, he looked thoughtful. The expression was uncommon, but it sat well on his face. Sasuke felt that familiar pain in his chest and looked back to the picture.

“Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes, I wish that someone else saved the village. That they were still here, and I could still have them with me.” Naruto confessed those words like it was a horrible, selfish thing to want one’s parents back. Sasuke didn’t say anything.

The two of them stayed like that for a moment, but then Naruto’s pensive expression vanished, and he smiled a wide grin. Back to himself in an instant.

“Are ya hungry?”

Sasuke hadn’t eaten since breakfast, actually, but he hadn’t planned to stay for dinner. He didn’t actually know why he came in the first place. All he knew is that he had to figure out why Naruto said no to being Hokage.

He didn’t want to bring it up yet, though. So dinner it is.

Sasuke barely got a nod out before Naruto grabbed his wrist—Sasuke’s sharp intake of breath hopefully went unnoticed— and dragged him into his kitchen.

“I’ve been trying to cook! You’d never think it, but cup noodles can get old, and besides, I need to keep my figure.” Naruto added with a laugh. 

Sasuke made a dubious noise. Naruto could eat nothing but garbage for the rest of his life, and still work it all off during his hellish training sessions.

“I’m actually getting pretty good at it. Well, at cooking some things, other things I burn the hell out of. I made gyudon yesterday, and it was so amazing, I could have cried. I wanted to call everyone in Konoha to come here and eat it. I figured they were busy, though.”

Sasuke knew that if Naruto called, the whole village would rush here in an instant.

“But you’re better company than all of them, I think,” Naruto said after a moment. He quickly turned around while Sasuke boxed away the rush of emotion that came with his statement.

Sasuke was currently stationed by the cabinets, as far as he could possibly be from Naruto, who stood in front of the fridge, vegetables in hand. Sasuke associated physical closeness with emotional attachments—unless he was in battle—and considering how emotionally volatile he’s been in Naruto’s presence lately, he thought it was best not to take any chances.

Naruto continued to fill the kitchen with mindless prattling while he tried to get his ingredients together, often referring back to a recipe he wrote on a napkin, and Sasuke realized that Naruto might be trying to calm his own nerves.

Sasuke didn’t think Naruto would be nervous about another presence in his home. Sasuke was definitely powerful, perhaps one of the best ninja in the village, but Naruto could keep up with him. _More than keep up with him,_ Sasuke mused, glancing at Naruto’s prosthetic arm.

In fact, during some of the more recent sparring sessions between the two, Naruto laid Sasuke on his ass.

Regardless, Sasuke found that he didn’t want to make Naruto anxious. 

After a lull in chatter, Sasuke asked, “Do you need…help? Cooking?” 

Naruto paused and turned. The left side of his mouth quirked. He looked so bright then, his messy blond hair catching the light, his eyes aglow.

“Sure, Sasuke. Can you chop up this onion for me?”

—————

“You know, Sakura has never lost an arm-wrestling match.”

The two boys were seated in the living room now, hours later, the food made and consumed. Naruto stuffed himself with eight plates of yakisoba. Sasuke only ate two, but it really was good. Much better than he’d expected Naruto’s cooking to be.

The sun had already set, and Naruto’s nerves had obviously vanished with it, his contentment palpable. He lazed on back on the arm of the couch like a cat, his feet propped up.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow by way of reply. 

“Won every single one.” Naruto continued, not minding that Sasuke didn’t speak much, pleased to be holding a conversation with him at all. “She’s beaten Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee. And me, of course. Twice. She even beat Tsunade! Well, the old hag was just out of the hospital, so it was kind of cheating.” 

Naruto moved slightly on the couch, his shirt riding up an inch. Sasuke tried very hard not to look at his exposed skin and instead focused on a small cactus sitting on Naruto’s windowsill like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. 

Sasuke knew that he should leave. It’s late, and he doesn’t want to do or say anything stupid. He needed to make sense of his weird emotions on his own time, without Naruto there. 

But he still hadn’t gotten the answer he came for.

Naruto voice filtered through his thoughts. “Tsunade was a good Hokage, don’t you think? She was smart and super powerful, and she kept smart, even during a war.”

Sasuke had to agree. “She did everything she could to protect Konoha.” _To protect Konoha from me, especially._

Naruto got quiet then. He stared at the ceiling.

There was a long moment of silence. Then, Sasuke spoke.

“Why don’t you want to be Hokage?”

Naruto, caught off-guard, met Sasuke’s eyes. He moved into an upright position on the couch and planted his feet on the floor. His shirt fell back into place, a small blessing.

“You heard, huh?”

“The whole village heard.” Sasuke doubted Naruto expected his exchange with Kakashi to be kept secret. Naruto is probably just surprised that Sasuke, of all people, was the one to question him about it.

“I would have fainted if Kakashi-sensei had asked me a year ago,” Naruto said. “I would have snatched that Hokage hat right off of his head.”

“Why didn’t you, now?” Sasuke asked, prodding.

“I only wanted to become Hokage to be acknowledged. I wanted the people in this village to love and respect me. I was so sick of being lonely and hated that I was desperate to prove myself.” Naruto didn’t sound torn up about his miserable past; he was just being honest.

Naruto endured so much cruelty at the hands of these people, it was a miracle he didn’t turn out as bad as Sasuke.

He really was a saint.

“Now, I have people that care about me. So many people in this village respect me now. That really was all I wanted. I have Sakura, and Iruka, and Kakashi, and so many others,” Naruto paused for a moment, not taking his eyes off Sasuke’s. “And I have you.”

Sasuke felt like he was burning up inside.

Naruto smiled widely, “‘Sides, I don’t know anything about politics or making treaties or stuffy suits. Being holed up in an office would be _torture._ I’ll leave that to the boring people and keep doing cool shit like beating up bad guys and fighting on the front lines.”

Even though he wouldn’t admit it aloud, Sasuke was badly impressed by Naruto. When Sasuke was looking away, Naruto began to make his own decisions, fight his own battles. Even Naruto’s extensive pursuit of Sasuke wasn’t senseless. Naruto had lost something and wanted it back.

“I have to leave.” Sasuke declared, realizing that he got his answer and that there was no point in torturing himself any longer.

Naruto got to his feet and followed him towards the door, rubbing his neck, and looking like he could use some sleep himself.

Right as Sasuke put his fingers on the knob, another question popped into his head.

He turned quickly and was startled to find himself mere inches away from Naruto. 

Up this close, Sasuke saw that his eyes were a darker blue than he’d originally thought. Sasuke could almost feel the warmth radiating from his skin, and if he moved his hand, just a bit, he would be touching his hip.

Sasuke stood very, very still.

Naruto didn’t move either, didn’t even take a step back to give Sasuke space.

“What is it?” Naruto asked, his voice low.

“If not you, then who?” Sasuke hoped his voice sounded unaffected, hoped he seemed like he always kept this close to boys who made him feel like he was on fire. He also hoped that Naruto understood his question, because he truly didn’t think he could get another word out.

Naruto smiled brilliantly, though, and Sasuke's heart pounded even faster. 

“Kakashi’s next Hokage? I’m surprised you didn’t guess it! She was Tsunade’s favorite student, and she’s damn good at arm wrestling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yea pls comment id love to hear ur thoughts!!!!! im @ tsunadesgf on tumblr if u want to hmu too!!! <3 <3 <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i SAID 3 chapters but i was just being silly im bad at math and making guesses

Sasuke woke to the sound of a dog pawing at his bedroom window.

He had slept in much later than he meant to. The sun was already up. 

He’d slept, which meant that he didn’t dream. Sasuke’s dreams were rarely pleasant. They were often dreadful nightmares, filled with terrible memories and deep fears. Sasuke didn’t get much sleep those nights. 

He probably needed the rest.

Sasuke slipped out of bed and moved toward the window that the dog was fighting. The dog was familiar, with light brown fur and a white tuft of hair on his head. Even though the dog looked unexceptional, Sasuke could tell he was a summon and knew exactly who had summoned him.

There was only one person who used ninken to pester him. He let out a suffering sigh and opened the window.

The dog— _Urushi was his name,_ Sasuke remembered—wasted no time hopping into the room and plopping himself onto Sasuke’s bed. 

Sasuke really didn’t feel like holding a conversation with a dog this early in the morning.

With a gruff voice, Urushi declared, “The Rokudaime requests an audience with you at 8 this morning. Sharp.”

Sasuke was a bit surprised to hear those words. He hadn’t done anything particularly heinous the past few days, nothing bad enough to warrant a call from the Hokage. Surely Kakashi had better things to do with his time than chat with a former student. 

Important things, like being the Hokage. Or training the next Hokage, if he plans to resign in a couple of years. Or, perhaps, telling the next Hokage that she _was_ the next Hokage.

“I’ll be there.” He responded soon after.

Urushi took that as his cue to leave, bounding out the way he came.

——————

Sakura was making a ruckus in the lobby of the Hokage tower.

“God! Stupid Kakashi and stupid Naruto and stupid Hokages! I’m so _pissed,_ who does he think he is just springing this on me?” She complained loudly to Ino, pacing and glaring at anyone who looked in her direction. Ino was clearly eating up Sakura’s words, looking like this was the most interesting that had happened to her in a while.

“Hey, Sasuke! Come here!” Sakura yelled.

Sasuke had been trying to discreetly walk past the nin crowding the large room in an effort to make this interaction with Kakashi as painless as possible. 

His efforts were to no effect.

Sasuke approached the two girls. Sakura’s eyes were bright with shock, her mouth drawn into a frown. Kakashi had just told her, then.

Last night, after Naruto had mentioned Kakashi’s decision to make Sakura the next Hokage when she’s ready and fully trained, he said that Kakashi was waiting for the right time to drop the news. It had only been a couple of days since Naruto declined, and Kakashi didn’t want her to feel like a second choice.

 _‘We talked about the possibility of Sakura becoming Hokage even before he asked me. Kakashi just always thought I wanted the position, and that she would be the next option if I died. I really threw him for a loop.’_ Naruto had smiled a bit then. 

“Did you know?” She demanded when he got closer to her, even though she didn’t bother to lower her voice at all.

“Yes. Naruto told me last night.” There was no use in lying to her.

Sakura scoffed. “They just love to make my life difficult, don’t they?” 

She continued to pace and curse and glare. Sasuke thought she should probably get out of the building before she picked a fight or tore the place down.

“But Sakura, you never gave me a straight answer. Did you say yes or no?” Ino pressed.

Sakura whirled on Ino. “What do you think? _Of course_ I said yes! I know I can help. I trained under Lady Tsunade for four years, and I studied so much during that time. I just never considered the possibility of actually becoming Hokage! It’s insane, it’s crazy, I…I didn’t expect this.”

Sasuke could understand her surprise. Sakura was always underestimated by her peers, seen as weak and fragile. Even Sasuke—and to some extent, Naruto—had thought similarly for a very long time.

She probably never expected anyone to take her seriously. Sakura certainly didn’t think anyone would think her capable enough to govern a village.

“Well,” Ino said, now patting the other girl’s back. “At least you have some time to get used to it. And the Hokage isn’t going to resign for a couple years. He’d want to make sure you’re prepared.”

Sakura nodded at Ino, temporarily appeased, while Sasuke silently slipped away.

—————

 

Kakashi was sitting at his desk reading a book when Sasuke entered the room flanked by two chunin. He seemed to be captivated by the novel, dutifully ignoring the stacks of paperwork crowding his desk.

Sasuke stood there for a long while and waited for the Hokage to look up from his book. He wondered if he should say something.

Kakashi didn’t look like a Hokage. He didn’t yet have the tired lines that came with the strain of the position. He wasn’t even wearing anything that marked him as someone other than a typical jounin, except for the mask covering half of his face.

Sasuke waited for a beat longer, and just after he decided to announce his presence, Kakashi put the book down and spoke.

“Yuma and Ren, thank you for accompanying Sasuke to my office. You both may leave now.”

The two chunin nodded and exited, unbothered to have to leave Kakashi in a room by himself, without any witness to his conversation with a former student and ex-criminal. Hokages kept many things secret, of course, but Sasuke figured that most of their conversations would be documented and recorded for legal purposes at the very least. 

Not that Sasuke minded not having someone breathe down his neck. He’d had enough of being watched all his life.

Kakashi directed his gaze to the only other person in his office. Before the silence became too oppressive, he began to speak.

“Sakura took the news as well as anyone could expect. She didn’t throw me out the window, which was pleasing.”

Sasuke didn’t suspect that Kakashi summoned him to this office so they could gossip about Sakura.

“I saw her in the lobby. She’ll be okay. She’s shocked.” Sasuke was miserable at small talk. He desperately wished Kakashi would get to his point, scold him or teach him a lesson or do whatever he was planning to do, so he could leave.

“I could imagine she is. It was sudden, I get that. I expected Naruto would want the Hokage position next, but it makes sense that he declined, doesn’t it? It was very—sensible of him.” 

It was a bit sensible, but Sasuke mostly believed that Naruto was finally thinking about himself and what he wanted. Maybe it was a bit selfish, actually.

Maybe selfishness and sensibility were more similar than one might think.

“Sakura will be a good Hokage, and I don’t just say that because she was my student. I feel like she’s going to bring about change. This village badly needs a change, Sasuke.” Kakashi’s visible eye sharpened incrementally, and Sasuke felt that Kakashi was nearing closer to the reason why he’d requested him.

It was a good thing, then, that Sasuke agreed with Kakashi’s last sentence. To change Konoha was Sasuke's single mission, once. He had preached and advocated for change even before the war had begun, with fervent dedication. 

And if he didn’t succeed in implementing radical reformation, he’d wanted revenge at the very least. The three elders that had sat on Konoha’s council, the ones who’d ordered the ‘swift and absolute’ execution of an entire clan—yes, his _entire_ clan, because Sasuke and Itachi had died that day, too, in a different way—should die at his hands. They should be run through with his katana or hit by his Chidori, they should meet an uneasy, unplanned demise. Or, perhaps, he would have dragged out their deaths. He’d wanted to see the same fear and desperation and misery that his family must have felt reflected on the elder’s faces.

But he didn’t even get that wish, in the end. The three Konoha council members were killed during the war, claiming that they still had the power to take on an enemy as large in scope as the one the ninjas had faced, despite their old age and weakened state. 

They were wrong, obviously.

“Kakashi, if you believe that Konoha’s customs and laws should be altered, don’t wait until Sakura becomes Hokage. Do something about it now.” Sasuke probably sounded a bit hypocritical, considering how even he didn’t have any real drive to reform the village anymore. But even if he did, it’s not like anyone would listen to him.

Kakashi, on the other hand, had the highest position of power in Konoha. He didn’t have an excuse.

The Hokage ignored the fact that Sasuke didn’t use any titles or honorifics associated with his name. Even when they were on the same team, Sasuke never had called him sensei. It seemed out of place to add them now.

“I’m right there with you, Sasuke. In fact,” Kakashi leaned over his desk, lowering his voice, “I want you to work for me.”

Even though Kakashi had enunciated his words carefully and clearly, Sasuke didn’t think he’d heard them right.

“You want me…to—”

“I heard you were on the market for a job. I needed an aid. It made sense, don’t you think?” Kakashi assumed a casual position in his chair. He propped his feet up onto the expensive desk.

“But Sakura said you had plenty of aids. You don’t need me.” Sasuke was trying to wrap his mind around becoming a Hokage’s assistant. Him. Sasuke. Why the hell would Kakashi ask _him?_

“I do have plenty of aids, that true. But none of them are you.” Kakashi continued, ignoring Sasuke's bewildered expression. “Sasuke, you know you’re brilliant. I don’t need to tell you that. Your mind is unrivaled, and you’re incredibly talented. And, you have something that no one else in this village does.” He paused, waiting for Sasuke to ask him to continue. When he realized that Sasuke wouldn’t, he sighed.

“You have experience. You know what it’s like to be in many different countries, you’ve traveled to tons of places—far more than the average ninja—and you’ve stayed there for a longer time. You know which kinds of governments work and which don’t. And, if need be, you could easily stay in these countries again. Perhaps some new ones.” Kakashi examined Sasuke’s face after he said that last bit, to make sure the message had sunk in. Sasuke fully understood its implications.

“So,” Sasuke replied after a moment, a rush of unfamiliar excitement moving through him. “I wouldn’t be a regular assistant.”

“Think of yourself as a diplomat of sorts,” Kakashi said. 

Sasuke thought about it.

“You wouldn’t be leaving immediately, of course. You’d have to train and learn, and I’d have to solidify accords with other countries and get confirmation from Konoha legislators, but the offer is there. And it’s for you.”

“I could leave,” Sasuke said, seeking explicit confirmation from Kakashi. The word wouldn’t escape his mind. _Leave, leave, leave._

Kakashi nodded. “You would probably only spend a month or two in Konoha per year.”

If he took this job, he’d have money, he’d have higher social standing, and he could _leave._ He could leave Konoha without becoming a public enemy again. He wouldn’t have to deal with the smothering presence of the villagers and leaf nin any longer; he’d have a higher position than all of them. Sasuke could engage in diplomatic missions and agree to policies that benefitted him. Sasuke couldn’t begin to imagine how much political power this position gave him.

Besides, the only ties worth holding onto in this village were Kakashi and Sakura—and if they are advocating for his sendoff, there would be no hard feelings, no ill will—and Naruto—

Naruto would be upset. Naruto would take his departure personally. Sasuke couldn’t think about Naruto right now.

“Kakashi, how will the leaders of the other ninja villages feel about an ex-convict becoming a diplomat?” The rest of his words went unspoken: _They haven’t forgotten the Kage summit,_ along with, _You were my teacher once. Won’t they cry nepotism?_

Kakashi smiled under his mask, his eye crinkling. 

“You’d be surprised how quickly people can forgive someone who helped them win a massive war.”

—————

Sasuke laid himself on the floor and stared blankly at the ceiling of his living room. 

After the Hokage let Sasuke out of his office, with a parting request to ‘just think about it,' Sasuke could not have gotten back fast enough. He knew that if—when, because who was he kidding, he was going to take the job—he accepted, he would have to be taught political science and law and history. He would have to be completely briefed on the daimyo and senators of various different countries. Sasuke would quickly pick this information up, but it would still consume a good deal of his time. And that would all have to happen before he could get to the part of the job he was actually looking forward to. Leaving. 

So before his life became a whirlwind of movement and people, he wanted to get back to his apartment and have a few moments to himself.

He tried to set some time aside every day to brood quietly in the comfort of his own home. Sasuke didn’t mean to negatively reflect on his miserable life every time he was alone; it was just something that came with the solitude.

His apartment was almost completely bare, filled only with items Sasuke thought were necessary. There was a bed, one dresser, a barely-used kitchen area, a bathroom, and a couch he’d found near a dumpster and carried with him. There were many weapons just lying around, but no sentimental objects, and no pictures—well, except for a photo of the Sandaime in his ceremonial robes, which Sasuke ripped out from a library book in a fit of rage when he first got back to the village. It was pocked with holes from when he’d used it as target practice.

Sasuke didn’t have much rage anymore, just a deep apathy for almost everyone and everything. 

_Almost everyone,_ he thought. There was still Kakashi and Sakura. He didn’t want to let them down again, not really, not after everything they’d been through.

And there was Naruto. Of course.

He really needed to take up a hobby. Or try to meditate. Or something.

—————

“You need to study all of these people. Learn their motivations, interests, dislikes, and fears like the back of your hand.” Shikamaru said this while lounging on the floor of a room stacked to the brim with cabinets and papers and archives.

Sasuke was sat at the single desk in the room. He could barely see his companion over the stacks and stacks of papers covering every bare inch of the desk. Papers containing information on allies and enemies alike, all from various places across the world. Sasuke had no clue what circumstances would conceivably bring him to the Land of Grapes, but he had to learn about it anyway.

“I doubt you’ve studied all of this,” Sasuke remarked, annoyed to have to spend so much time in a stuffy room with only Shikamaru for company. Sasuke hadn’t spoken more than ten words with him since he’d been back, and now Kakashi wanted him to take Sasuke under his wing.

Shikamaru snorted. “Fuck, no. The Rokudaime couldn’t pay me to. Fortunately, I’ve learned most of this stuff through observing the ambassadors who have visited this village the past few years. You don’t have that kind of time.” As he talked, Shikamaru reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag.

Sasuke leveled a gaze at him. “I’m not sure Kakashi would like you smoking in here. A big fire hazard, especially near so many precious documents.”

Shikamaru returned his look. “Since when were you such a stickler for the rules, Uchiha? Don’t think I didn’t notice that you swiped Danzo’s file. I’m _not sure_ the Hokage would like you stealing from here.”

Sasuke pursed his lips at the reprimand and flipped to the next file with his prosthetic hand. As he did, he caught a flash of light from his peripheral vision. He glanced back to Shikamaru and noticed a shiny gold ring on his left hand.

Shikamaru followed his line of vision and smiled slightly. 

“Temari and I got engaged. One of the first inter-village marriages in a long time, I hear. Definitely not the last, not with the new alliance we have going now. But yeah, I’m marrying her.” 

Shikamaru looked genuinely happy. He seemed in love. 

It pissed Sasuke off.

“A lot of people are starting to settle down. Most of the ninjas our age are happy that they’re still alive, and they get together because they know what there is to lose now. They don’t want to die knowing that they hadn’t taken any chances. And the future isn’t as bleak as it used to be. A baby could grow up here.” 

Shikamaru looked so untroubled in that moment. He had seen so much tragedy. But, for some odd reason, he had—hope. 

“You should take chances now, Uchiha. Go after someone if you want them. That way, when you die, you have no regrets.”

Sasuke already had plenty of regrets. A few more wouldn’t make a difference.

—————

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. He could go home early today.

Shikamaru had let Sasuke leave around five in the afternoon because neither of them had eaten a thing that day and they were both growing increasingly agitated with each other’s presence. Shikamaru had made Sasuke promise that he’d be back there at six the next morning, though Sasuke doubted that Shikamaru himself would stick to that pledge.

Sasuke hadn’t seen very many people in the past few days, save for Shikamaru and Kakashi and occasionally Sakura when she stopped by.

Which was why Sasuke was a bit surprised to see Naruto during his walk home. 

In fact, he saw about fifteen Narutos, all working on a house. They must have been working just as long as Sasuke had been, if not longer. The air was sticky with heat and the sun didn’t show any sign of setting, despite the time. 

Sasuke immediately spotted the real Naruto. He’d learned to tell who wasn’t the clone back when he was twelve, even without his Sharingan. There was something about Naruto, something so innately _him,_ that it was impossible to be captured in a clone. This wasn’t an insult to Naruto’s skill as a ninja, but a testament to him as a person.

Naruto had hopped down from the roof and greeted an old lady who cooed at him. She thanked him profusely and offered him a wad of cash. Naruto smiled and scratched the back of his neck, replying, “Oh, you don’t have to do that! I had nothing else to do today.”

But the lady insisted, so Naruto took the money. He left his clones there to finish the roof, then said goodbye. 

“Oi, Sasuke!” Naruto yelled almost immediately after his exchange. He must have spotted him while on the roof.

Sasuke waited up for Naruto to join him on the sidewalk. He let a couple of nin walk past him.

“You’ve been so hard to find ever since you got that fancy job with Kakashi-sensei! I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I hope you haven’t been avoiding me.” Naruto grinned widely and bumped his shoulder into Sasuke’s. 

Sasuke was avoiding him, actually. He wanted to get his annoying emotions in check before he saw Naruto again. Sasuke was going to be leaving him for a while, so there wouldn’t be any use in harboring unwanted feelings. It would just get in the way of him enjoying his newfound freedom. 

If the odd sensation from where Sasuke’s shoulder had come into contact with Naruto’s was any indication, his plan didn’t seem to be working.

Sasuke shook his head, “Just been busy.”

Sasuke was still walking in the direction of his apartment—and just beginning to wonder where Naruto was headed—when the other boy replied, “You’re not busy now, though. Come hang out with me! We can talk, and you can tell me about your cool-ass job.”

Naruto was brimming with excitement at the prospect of listening to Sasuke talk about himself. _He really didn’t get out much now that the war was over,_ Sasuke thought.

They traveled to a clearing that they trained at, sometimes. 

Naruto led them over to an old bench hidden by overgrown weeds. 

Most ninjas didn’t stop for a rest break when they trained. They just worked themselves into the ground or passed out on the soil if they had to. This was the first time that Sasuke had even seen the bench. It was easy to miss if no one was looking. Naruto probably came here often. 

Naruto sat down. Sasuke did too, after a moment.

“So,” Naruto said expectantly, “tell me.”

Sasuke began, “Right now, Kakashi is making me remember major leaders of every country and ninja village. I don’t get to see him much because he’s busy or whatever, I’m not sure. I spend most of my time with Shikamaru. He’s there to help me and make sure I don’t have any questions, but he mostly just naps and smokes.” 

Naruto laughed at that. “Can you believe him and Temari are getting married? That’s a match made in heaven. She’ll kick his ass the second he refuses to do work around the house or asks her to make him something to eat. They’re both so smart, though. No one else can handle either of them.”

Sasuke thought that they could be happy together. Shikamaru certainly seemed happy that day he’d spoken of their engagement.

“Sakura comes around every once in a while. It’s hard for her to get away from the hospital, but she trains with Kakashi often. We’re learning mostly the same things, actually.”

“I miss Sakura. I guess she’ll be busy for a bit.” Naruto paused, then brightened up a bit. “Hey, Sasuke, why don’t we visit her on one of her days off? She’d like that.”

Sasuke nodded and continued his recount of working in the Hokage’s office. He told Naruto about the chunin who look at Kakashi with stars in their eyes and how Tsunade's pig shows up unannounced in the mess hall sometimes and how Shikamaru says ‘I don’t know’ to every questioned he’s asked because talking takes too much effort. He told Naruto almost everything about his job. Almost. 

He didn’t tell Naruto that he was anything other than a regular aid. He didn’t tell Naruto that he’d later be able to communicate with other countries and make political decisions in Kakashi’s stead. He didn’t tell Naruto that he’d be leaving Konoha for weeks or months or maybe years at a time.

He didn’t tell Naruto that he was leaving at all. He didn’t want to see Naruto’s reaction or his sadness. Sasuke would wait until it was necessary to break the news.

“Your job sounds so cool! Not really for me, though. I’m just doing odds and ends stuff, sticking to C and D-level work. It’s very laid back, not what I’m used to.” Naruto laughed and put his hand down on the bench, closing the space between the two boys. 

“Is there anything you want to do?” Sasuke asked.

“I dunno. Maybe get a genin team one day. Be like Iruka or Kakashi or my dad.”

Sasuke nodded. He didn’t know what else to do.

Naruto glanced at the training field and then leaned towards Sasuke. “You know…I haven’t properly trained in a while either. It would be awesome if someone here wanted to spar with me.” 

He looked around at the field and trees, searching jokingly for a sparring partner.

Naruto’s hair and lashes and skin looked golden under the setting sun. 

Sasuke pulled his eyes away from Naruto and looked at the training field. Sasuke hadn’t sparred with Naruto in a few weeks.

“I won’t go easy on you just because you’re out of practice,” Sasuke replied. 

Naruto dragged Sasuke to the middle of the green, delighted.

—————

It was very late when Sasuke got back. He was sore, depleted of chakra, and pretty sure he’d broken a few fingers trying to get a right hook in. 

He’d had a wonderful time. He even won most of the fights.

Sasuke unlocked the door, and his tired satisfaction faded very quickly once he realized that his apartment was already occupied.

“Is this going to be a regular thing? Do you want a key or something?” Sasuke asked, annoyed.

Urushi made a snorting sound. He was remarkably bothersome for a dog, a trait he must have adopted from his owner. “You seem to be in a good mood. Anyway, I came here because I have a message from the Rokudaime.”

 _You always do,_ Sasuke thought.

“It seems you’re going to be able to leave sooner than you thought. Suna is hosting a social gathering in honor of six months of peace. They extended an invite to Konoha, and Kakashi thought it was appropriate for you to go.”

Already. The time had already come. This wouldn’t be very important—just a visit to a party—but it would be the start. Mere months later, he would be able to travel the world and pull some strings. This trip meant everything to Sasuke.

“When is it?” Sasuke asked. “Do I have to speak with Kakashi first? Should I get my prosthetic checked beforehand? Do I pack formal clothes? What type of gathering is this?”

Sasuke really was excited, uncharacteristically so. So much so, in fact, that he almost didn’t catch Urushi’s last words.

“One more thing. The Kazekage specifically requested Naruto Uzumaki to attend, so it will be the two of you.”

Sasuke paused.

“You’re joking.”

Urushi shook his head. “Not at all. You both will be speaking to the Rokudaime tomorrow.” 

The dog disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

This was his first small taste of freedom, and he couldn’t even enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved hearing ur comments you guys are so sweet!!! thank you for the Support pls comment more if u want!!!! also if you any of yall wanna chat im over @ tsunadesgf.tumblr.com u can talk to me abt the fic or ask me for sns song recs i have tons of playlists.... like tons


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait!! i hope u enjoy :-)))))

Naruto was buzzing with excitement. 

Yesterday, one of Kakashi’s cute ninken bounded into Naruto’s path while he was traveling home from his spar with Sasuke. The dog said that Kakashi wanted to speak with him, then mentioned something about a trip to Suna. According to the dog, Gaara had asked for him to attend a party honoring peace between nations.

And the dog had said ‘trip’ instead of ‘mission,’ which sounded very much like a vacation to Naruto. He hadn’t left Konoha—on a mission or otherwise—since the war ended. But that was just because he needed to heal and help a village heal. He couldn’t have left then, folks needed him.

Things were finally settling down, though. And as fine as Naruto was with lower-level missions, he grew restless. He loved movement.

The sun was up, but it hadn’t yet kicked out the chill of the night before. Despite the cold, people were already moving about and opening up shop for the day. Some were leaving their homes to go to work. Naruto found comfort in the mundane noise. 

Naruto hopped from rooftop to rooftop towards Kakashi’s office, smiling at a few ninja who saw him approaching. He didn’t stop to greet anyone in the building, though; he wanted to speak to the Hokage as soon as possible. Naruto bounded upstairs and all but burst into the Rokudaime’s office.

The conversation ended abruptly as he opened the door. A bit too late, Naruto realized that he was interrupting something.

There was Kakashi, who leaned back against the front of his desk with arms crossed. His eye moved to Naruto as soon as he entered.

And there was Sasuke, with his jaw set and eyes trained on the Hokage.

Sometimes, Naruto had to blink to make sure that Sasuke was actually in front of him and not some image conjured from a time when Sasuke was far away and Naruto was alone. Naruto missed him so damn much back then. He had always thought he’d seen him out of the corner of his eye or on the other side of the street or in some random village that he and Sakura and Sai were visiting on a mission.

But Sasuke was really there. And at the moment, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. 

Naruto would have spent all day trying to find the root of the emotion written on Sasuke’s delicate face, but Kakashi had other ideas.

“Oh, Naruto! Good to see you’ve arrived.”

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei. Am I late?” Naruto asked. “I can leave and come back later if you want.”

Sasuke hadn’t even turned to look at Naruto.

“No, you’re fine,” Kakashi replied. “I was just telling Sasuke some of the details you two need to remember when making the trip to Suna.”

“Holy shit! Sasuke is coming with me? That’s awesome!” Naruto was pleased that Sasuke was given this freedom, especially so quickly after his release. Not that Naruto actually believed that he should have been imprisoned in the first place. In Naruto’s opinion, the villagers should have been kissing Sasuke’s feet and throwing roses at him after he helped end that war.

Naruto looked back to Sasuke. He thought Sasuke would be content with this information, but his face was pale. It seemed like he was bracing himself.

Naruto tried not to jump to conclusions about that expression, but an unhappy thought popped into his mind.

What if…Sasuke didn’t want to go anywhere with Naruto? What if Sasuke hated the idea of spending more time with him?

Naruto tried hard to ignore the feeling of cold rejection that washed over him as Kakashi-sensei nodded. “Yes, you’re going together. Please pack something nice, if either of you even has anything nice to wear. I don’t want you boys showing up to a dignified event in dirty unwashed training clothes. Also, don’t fight with each other. Don’t get crazy while sparring. If you blow off your other arms, Sakura won’t be there to fix you.”

Now it was Naruto’s turn to nod in reply. He normally would have scoffed at Kakashi’s words, made a joke in return, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how Sasuke probably hated him. Hated him still, actually, since that emotion never seemed to have left. 

And this whole time, Naruto thought things were going so well. Sasuke had finally started to joke with him and visit him and _talk to him._ How could Naruto have been reading him so wrongly?

Kakashi focused in on Sasuke. “I especially want you to be on your best behavior. Many people that you meet here will probably be seeing you again. This is your first of many trips and the others will not be as short or simple. You’re going to be gone for months, maybe years at a time. Try not to make a bad impression.”

Naruto’s mind began to run wild before Kakashi even finished speaking.

_Gone for months a time? Years, even?_

Naruto must have been hearing things wrong. He must have. There’s no way that Sasuke would be leaving. At least not anytime soon. He just got hired as the Hokage’s assistant.

Sasuke glanced at Naruto for the first time since he’d entered the room. Naruto met Sasuke’s gaze, but his words were aimed at the Rokudaime. “First of…many?”

A pregnant pause filled the room while neither boy moved. Neither of them blinked.

Kakashi-sensei sighed, breaking the incredibly uncomfortable and increasingly charged silence. He asked, “You didn’t tell him?”

“No, I didn’t,” Sasuke replied carefully. “I was waiting.”

This must have been why Sasuke had been behaving so strangely, and it was a hundred times worse than Sasuke just hating him. This was Sasuke gone. 

Naruto had already lost Sasuke once. He didn’t want that to happen again.

“Waiting to tell me that you were leaving the village. Again. When were you going to drop the news? On your way out?”

“This isn’t about you, Naruto. It’s a job.” Sasuke’s face held no trace of that pale anxiousness before. He was as unreadable as ever.

“It _is_ about me because it affects me. This whole time you made me think you got some fucking office job. But no, you’re going to stay outside of the village for years and travel hundreds of miles and you don’t even run it by me?” Naruto hated his petulant tone, but he didn’t understand anything. Sasuke was leaving him, so soon after his return. 

“It wouldn’t be like the first time.” Kakashi cut in, trying to put an end to a fight before it began. “Sasuke would maintain contact with Konoha and he can always come back to give briefings in-person. He wouldn’t be a rogue-nin. And after Sakura becomes Hokage, it’s his choice to continue the job or stay here.”

Naruto asked Sasuke, “What would you choose? You’d still go, right?”

Sasuke didn’t answer, he didn’t have to. Sasuke tore his gaze from Naruto and looked back at Kakashi. “Is this meeting over? I have some matters to attend to before my trip.”

Kakashi assented and Sasuke disappeared in a flash of smoke. Gone, just like that.

Naruto’s heart was racing. He was so upset, upset at Sasuke for not telling him and at Kakashi for offering the job and at himself for acting so desperately. He knew that his reaction would only push Sasuke further away, but he was never good with feelings, especially when it came to the other boy.

“You may return to your duties, Naruto,” Kakashi said when he realized that Naruto wasn’t moving.

Naruto nodded and counted to ten before speaking again.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto began after the smoke had fully faded. He felt a lump in his throat, so he paused to swallow and repeated, “Kakashi-sensei, he can’t leave. I know he’d be happier out there than stuck here, but he can’t. I want him to be near me. He’s my—” 

“I understand, Naruto. This might be a bit to take in, but please just focus on Suna for now. And talk to Sasuke more. You’re the only person he really trusts here.” Kakashi walked around his desk and settled into his chair. The Hokage grabbed a file from the desk and pretended to examine its contents. The conversation was over.

Naruto bowed and headed out the door.

—————

Sasuke had lied. He didn’t have any matters to attend to, he just wanted to get the hell out of Kakashi’s office.

It was too much, being grilled by Naruto. He hated having to answer Naruto’s questions and deal with the guilt of eventually leaving him. And he hated having to deal with the anger that came afterward because he _shouldn’t_ feel guilty. Sasuke was nothing but unhappy there. It only made sense for him to want a better life, far away from Konoha. Besides, he wasn’t leaving to wreak havoc or obtain power, he had a legitimate job. A great job. A job backed by the Hokage.

Eventually, Naruto would stop missing Sasuke after he left, especially with everyone in Konoha chasing after his friendship and affection. And Sasuke would be alone on the road, which was just how he liked it to be.

Fuck Naruto for thinking that Sasuke owed him to stay. This job would make him happy, or as close to happy as Sasuke could get.

He traveled to the edge of the village and into the forest. Sasuke liked the trees and the wildlife and the seclusion. He didn’t mind the quiet of the forest, and he knew that if he went straight to his apartment, Naruto would not be far after him.

Naruto would probably still find him here—he’s almost as good as Karin at detecting chakra—but at least Sasuke would have a bit of a head start. And he could clear his mind before Naruto arrived.

He hopped down from a large tree and landed smoothly on the ground, disturbing a couple of squirrels from their resting place. Sasuke watched them skitter away.

Sasuke wondered if he could properly train out here, wield his more advanced jutsu. He hadn’t used his chidori or activated the Rinnegan for a good bit. He only used fire style when he was sparring or needed a light. And he was only just getting used to the feel of a katana in his new hand.

He was always reliant on his Sharingan, but that was a habit. That was like breathing. 

Sasuke activated the red eyes then, only to see another ninja quickly approaching from the village’s direction. 

Naruto. Of course.

“You’re hiding,” were the first words that came out of Naruto’s mouth when he came within speaking distance. Sasuke didn’t say anything, only looked up to see the other boy perched on a tree branch.

“You know, you should have just left the village now if you didn’t want me to come find you.” Naruto bounced to another tree, drawing closer. 

Naruto walked down the tree and sat on the branch closest to the ground. His legs dangled.

“I wouldn’t run away. We have to go to Suna.” Sasuke’s words felt hollow, but it was all he could say. 

“Right, Suna. Definitely.” Naruto replied.

There was an awkward silence. Holding conversations with each other was never their strong suit, especially difficult ones. They often opted to communicate through actions and fists and touches instead. Punches could get a message across clear enough. Words only serve to complicate things and jumble up feelings.

For instance, Sasuke couldn’t quite tell if Naruto was pissed at him or not. Sasuke couldn’t tell if he himself was pissed at Naruto.

Naruto spoke again. “So, uh, about your job. Are you going to be like an ambassador?”

“Kind of,” Sasuke replied, because he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t expect that line of questioning, he thought that Naruto was there to yell at him more. “That’s why I have to learn foreign policy and do research on other cultures.”

“Other cultures? So non-ninja lands, too?” Naruto asked. He began to move his legs back and forth, up and down again, like he was on a swing. Naruto hated to sit still.

Sasuke gave an affirmative answer. 

“What are they like?”

“Every country is different, but most of them value education more than anything. Their literacy rates are higher than ours.” 

Naruto hummed consideringly, then asked, “What do they think of us?”

Sasuke had read many books on government interactions between Konoha and entirely civilian countries over the past few weeks, and all of them had one glaring similarity. 

“A lot of other lands think that ninja villages are barbaric. Sending children on the battlefield to die. Teaching twelve-year-olds deadly jutsu. Sealing chakra demons into human beings, all to maintain status and power. They believe that true peace can never exist if soldiers like us are created.”

“You think that’s true?” Naruto prodded.

“I’m not someone to preach much about peace,” Sasuke said dryly. 

Naruto swung his legs once more and jumped to the ground. “I guess, I dunno.” Sasuke wondered what Naruto had meant by that.

“What about _you?”_ Sasuke asked, trying to move the attention off of himself and onto the boy who was now only a few feet away.

“Me?” Naruto asked. “You said it yourself. I have Kurama inside me. Just being alive is a slap in the face to those peaceful countries.”

Sasuke knew that Naruto had a point, but he couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t Naruto’s fault that he was a jinchuuriki. Just like it wasn’t Sasuke’s fault that his clan was murdered. Their stance on peace was decided for them. They had no say in the matter.

“Then they’re probably right,” Sasuke replied.

—————

Sasuke sat right next to a small end-table in the middle of Sakura’s living room. Earlier, he’d visited the hospital to get his arm cleared for the Suna trip only to find that it was one of Sakura’s coveted days off. He thought about just waiting until the next day to come back and visit, but he really didn’t like to put things off.

Besides, he and Naruto were leaving for Suna in less than a week. 

Even though he’d been in her house for several minutes, Sakura hadn’t started to check his prosthetic arm yet. She had just painted her fingernails a bright red and was waiting for them to dry. 

“I think you really are the only person who has any clue what I’ve been going through these past few weeks. Those files that Kakashi-sensei has us reading and memorizing are never-ending. And the thing is, I already _know_ most of what he’s teaching me because I was Lady Tsunade’s assistant for five years, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says the information needs to be fresh in my mind. Whatever.” Sakura rolled her eyes. “And I don’t even have Shikamaru to keep me company like you do.”

Sasuke stretched his legs out on the carpet. “You can take him. He’s a nuisance.”

Sakura laughed. “That’s funny. He said the same thing about you.” Sasuke didn’t take much offense to her words. 

Sakura blew on her nails one last time and stood up to retrieve the medical supply kit that she kept tucked in her room. When she returned, she made Sasuke sit in the desk chair and roll up his left sleeve.

“So, you and Naruto are heading out pretty soon, huh?” Sakura asked.

“Three more days,” Sasuke replied succinctly.

“You should sound more excited, you know. You get to take a break from all this studying and party it up in Suna. I _wish._ And you two are both leaving, which means I’ll be lonely and miserable.” She made a face, but Sasuke could tell that she was joking.

Sakura was right; he should be more excited. He certainly was when he was first told the news, but now he was kind of dreading the trip. He was especially dreading going on the trip with Naruto.

All Sasuke had ever wanted for himself was control and full autonomy, and Naruto’s presence made that nearly impossible for him. Sasuke felt unpredictable around Naruto. The feeling was freeing, but dangerous at the same time.

Sakura asked Sasuke to move his fingers and grabbed his other arm to compare. Sasuke focused hard on trying to make both hands move at the same time.

“You are healing phenomenally, Sasuke. You and Naruto both. If you keep it up, no one will even notice the difference between your real and fake arms.” A moment later, Sakura’s eyes widened and she stood up. “Actually, I have something for you that might polish your fine motor skills.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Sakura grinned.

She walked down the hall and entered a room that Sasuke assumed was her parents’. Sasuke didn’t know much about her parents—never met them, in fact—but Sakura spoke so highly of them. She had always wanted to make them proud.

“You stayed in the Sound village for about three years, right?” Sakura called from the other room. There was a rustling sound like she was searching for something.

“Yes,” Sasuke answered, raising his voice a bit so she could hear. He didn’t particularly like to think about that part of his life. It was all misery, and he only endured it so he could gain the power to kill his brother. A brother who didn’t even deserve to die.

“Did you learn how to play an instrument?” Sakura asked.

Sasuke replied, “No. I was focused on other things at the time, actually.”

Sakura snorted from the other room. “Smartass. A lot of genjutsu users play music in battle. I thought you were taught some of that.”

She returned from the room with a black case in her hand. Sakura sat down next to Sasuke and opened the case. There were pieces of what looked to be some type of woodwind instrument. She dutifully assembled it and turned to beam at Sasuke. “See, it’s a bamboo flute. My father has a few because he plays sometimes. But this is one of his older ones. I’m sure he won’t mind if I let you have it.”

She handed it to him, and Sasuke examined the flute. It was light brown, detailed with black around the ends. “You want me to learn how to play?”

Sakura nodded. “You pick things up fast, and it will sharpen your hand-eye coordination. Which will make you a better fighter. Here, watch me play it.”

She grabbed it back out of his hand and gently put her lips to the mouthpiece. As an afterthought, she looked back up and said, “And don’t use your Sharingan. That’s cheating.”

Sasuke could have rolled his eyes, but he followed her orders as she resumed her position and began to lightly blow into the flute. Her fingers moved slowly and a soft, high-pitched sound flowed from the instrument. Sasuke vaguely recognized the tune.

It was a lullaby, the kind mothers sang to their children at night, to calm them when they had nightmares or couldn’t sleep. Sasuke hadn’t heard a song like that in a long time.

When she finished, she asked, “Cool, right? I don’t know many songs, that one my dad taught me. But I think you can get the hang of it better than I did. Take it. You’ll have something to remember me by on your missions.”

Sasuke thought that she would make a very respectable Hokage. Her parents should be proud.

He took the flute.

—————

Sasuke arrived at the gates of Konoha half an hour before he actually had to, but he didn’t mind. This was his first time away from the village in half a year; he was not going to be late.

He figured that Naruto’s friends would probably stop by to see them off, and Sasuke needed to make sure he didn’t forget anything before a wave of people arrived and he got distracted.

He was double-checking his weapons bag when he heard Naruto’s voice.

“There’s a snake by your foot,” the boy said. 

Sasuke quickly looked down, and sure enough, a small brown snake was relaxing a meter away from him.

Naruto looked well-rested. His light hair wasn’t as unruly as usual and he was wearing traveling clothes that were a bit less eye-popping than his regular ensemble. Naruto had packed lightly, carrying one medium-sized pack on his shoulder. His mouth was quirked up in a smile aimed entirely at Sasuke.

“Is he one of yours?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke shook his head. “Just a regular snake. They’re plenty of them around.”

“He looks pretty comfortable next to you. Probably senses you’re one of his kind,” Naruto poked.

Sasuke sent him a glare, but it held no substance. Naruto just laughed.

“I bet frogs love you, too. You’re as loud as them.” Sasuke groused.

“They’re _toads!”_ Naruto cried indignantly, his bright blue eyes shining with humor. He backhanded Sasuke's arm softly, and Sasuke felt his skin warming.

It had been a bit since he’d seen Naruto happy like this. Definitely not since Kakashi’s meeting. There was still some anger and frustration there, but neither of them seemed eager to talk about things. Plenty of time to chat or fight later, when they’re not relying on just the other for company. 

“So…are we ready to leave?” Naruto asked after Sasuke finished his bag check.

“I figured your friends would come and say goodbye.” Sasuke looked around at the entrance. The only other people he could see were the ninjas guarding the gate.

“I’ve said goodbye to everyone these past few days. It’ll be okay, they won’t miss me too much.” Naruto said. “I saw Sai on my way out of my apartment this morning, actually. He wished us luck on our trip, he also said that he hopes you fit his clothes.”

Sasuke talked to Sai about Suna the day before yesterday. Sasuke had mentioned his own lack of formal dress and Sai surprisingly offered to lend his own clothes. Why Sai owned ceremonial robes, Sasuke wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t complaining. He’d packed them along with Sakura’s gift.

Sasuke nodded. “Check to see if you have everything.”

“I don’t forget my stuff,” Naruto said smugly, “No need to check.”

Sasuke gave him a glare, a real one this time, one that had Naruto grumbling and dutifully examining his pack. He looked up minutes later and declared, “Done! Nothing is missing. Now, can’t you get a move on? They won’t like it if we’re late. I thought you wanted to make a good impression.”

Sasuke shot Naruto one last look and signaled the guards to open the entrance. The two ninjas saluted and began to push on either side of the gate. In less than a minute, the doors were ajar, and Sasuke could see the road and the woods before him.

The freedom that this trip allowed was a tangible thing. He took one step out of the village’s confines and could have sworn that the air was already purer. He could finally _breathe._

Naruto ran right past him and down the dirt road. He turned to face Sasuke, and asked, “Are you gonna hurry up, or should I just go on ahead and arrive in Suna two days before you?”

Sasuke caught up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! please comment n review i love the Validation also yall can always hit me up on im on tumblr @ tsunadesgf ! see ya soon folks :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up to ao3 an entire year late with starbucks and a measly 3.5k words* hey yall! :^)

“Let’s stop here for the night,” Sasuke said.

They had been traveling for eleven hours. Darkness was rolling in, and Sasuke wanted to rest before they were surrounded by desert sand. Eventually, the sparse trees would give way to green plains, and then browned patches of grass, and then nothing but sand. 

Naruto had spoken to him a bit since they left, little jabs and jokes here and there. He’d asked which route would be faster. Sasuke answered him, and they’d ultimately decided to veer around the busier paths to avoid foot traffic. When they weren’t discussing different trails, Naruto would chatter about Konoha and Suna and the birds he saw and the sun that was hiding behind large white clouds. Sasuke didn’t mind Naruto’s talking, not nearly as much as he acted like he did. 

At a few points in the trip, Naruto would get quiet, seemingly deep in thought as they traveled farther away from Konoha.

Sasuke looked over to Naruto now, who had stepped off the path towards the shade of trees on his left. He was walking closer to where Sasuke had stopped.

Sasuke didn’t expect Naruto to be tired, considering his near limitless amount of stamina and chakra. Still, he made no complaint about stopping. He simply wandered under the cover of the trees and sat his pack next to the trunk of a thin oak. 

Naruto looked at the setting sun and stretched.

Sasuke took his eyes away from Naruto and gathered wood to make a fire. It wasn’t that cold out, but he wanted to take some measures in case the weather dropped at night. 

When he turned around, he noticed that Naruto had already made himself comfortable. His head rested on his pack.

“You’re such a hard worker, Sasuke.” Naruto said lightly.

“Someone has to set up camp.” Sasuke replied, preoccupied with laying sticks down.

Naruto laughed. “Camp? The two of us haven’t camped since we were in Team Seven and Kakashi-sensei wanted us to ‘bond.’”

Sasuke remembered that. Naruto had spent the entire time complaining about the heat, and Sakura spent the entire time complaining about the bugs. Sasuke was so annoyed with the two of them that he was ready to chuck them off of the cliff they were stationed next to. Kakashi probably would have let him.

The memory made Sasuke feel a bit nostalgic. He’d never spent that much time with anyone outside of his family. He hadn’t known bonds like those since they were killed. Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi would have died for him back then. They almost did a few times. 

When he was twelve, he would occasionally find himself thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad to stay with them forever. He could abandon his goal and stop focusing on revenge and the past. Sometimes he thought that those three were family enough. And back then, that was the worst part of it all.

Sasuke shook off those thoughts and focused on the task at hand. He formed some seals with his right hand and blew a fireball at the wood. They caught flame.

Naruto snorted.

“Show-off.”

Sasuke’s mouth quirked upwards. “We didn’t pack a lighter.”

“You could have rubbed some sticks together or something.”

Sasuke pointedly ignored Naruto and went to his bag. He grabbed two packs of dried meat and threw one at Naruto’s face. Naruto made an indignant sound and said, “I packed food too, you know. You didn’t have to give me some of yours.” 

“Take it. I packed too much.” Sasuke replied. Naruto took them without complaint.

“You know, traveling with you is a lot different than when I was with Jiraiya. He made me fend for myself. Said it would make me a ‘better ninja’ if I didn't have to rely on other people." Naruto rolled his eyes. "And then he spent all of my money on booze and women."

Sasuke never actually met Naruto's godfather. He knew he was one of the legendary Sannin, and he knew that Jiraiya and Orochimaru were teammates once. He also knew that Naruto cared for him, and it was very hard for the other boy to deal with his death. Sasuke knew a lot about grief, so he understood Naruto’s emotions. But then again, Jiraiya didn’t really sound like a good man. 

Sasuke never had the greatest male figures in his life either, so he didn't think he had the authority to judge, but he thought it was a good thing that they didn't turn out completely like their predecessors.

"I don't think you have to worry about me blowing cash on booze and women." Sasuke said.

“No, definitely not.” Naruto’s eyes glittered with amusement. 

The two listened to the chirps of crickets and cicadas.

Naruto spoke again.

“It’s okay, though. It was fun with him, most of the time. And he made me stronger. Besides, he listened to me when no one else did. He tried to help me bring you back.” 

Those last words held more weight than Naruto might have intended.

Sasuke was back, but he wouldn’t be staying for long. After this trip, he’d spend about a month or two finishing up his training and studies, then go wherever Kakashi tells him to. He’d be a citizen of Konoha still, but away from the suffocating life that he’d always known there. 

But. Naruto went to the ends of the earth to bring Sasuke back. Naruto devoted years of his adolescence to find Sasuke. 

The silence was growing heavier, like a weight on Sasuke’s chest. He had to say something, he knew.

“Naruto, I’m—“

“Wait, Sasuke, I didn’t mean… Listen, you have nothing to be sorry about. I was being selfish, you know? You and Sakura and Kakashi…all got what you wanted. With this job.” He added as an afterthought. “And I got you back for a little while. You’re going to be happy, and that’s what you deserve.”

Naruto released a breath after he finished speaking. He must have held those thoughts in his mind for some time.

The light of the fire illuminated Naruto’s face. Sasuke could see the prominent scars on either side of cheeks. He felt a tug in his chest and an incomprehensible urge to trace them with his fingertips.

Sasuke nodded and looked away. He forced himself to think of other matters, like this journey and subsequent festivities.

“We should probably get some sleep soon.” Sasuke said.

Naruto, perceptive as he is, must have realized that Sasuke took his apology seriously. 

“Yeah, totally. Big day ahead of us.” Naruto slipped off his jacket and bundled it up, preparing to use it as a pillow. He laid his head near the trunk of the tree.

“Should I keep watch?” Sasuke asked. They have fewer enemies to worry about, these days. There could be bandits and rogues, but they tended to be scarce near the desert. Nevertheless, Sasuke did pack his weapons for a reason.

“If you want,” Naruto mused. “Or you can sleep. I won’t blame you if we wake up to stolen clothing packs.”

Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure if Naruto was joking.

—————  
Sasuke blearily opened his eyes to the day’s first glimpse of sunlight.

He had kept watch for a few hours the night before, but later succumbed to the heavy weight of his eyelids and the inevitable droop of his head.

Sasuke didn’t bother waking up Naruto before he went to bed, either. Sasuke was a light sleeper, and he figured if some bandit did come along and attack them, Sasuke would be able to swiftly wake up and defend himself. 

But more than that, Naruto had looked so—peaceful. Sasuke didn’t want to wake him up; he knew firsthand how hard deep sleep was to come by for shinobi.

Even then, when Sasuke turned his head toward the other boy, he saw that Naruto’s eyes were shut, his mouth a tad upturned, his breathing measured.

Sasuke would never get used to seeing Naruto like this. Naruto was action incarnate, thrumming with energy and constantly moving. He was almost never still, unless a mission called for it—and sometimes not even then.

When he slept, Naruto looked different. His eyelashes were dark in the approaching light, his face smooth and soft. The scars that could be seen so prominently the night before were hardly visible.

Ninjas had to be attentive, but Sasuke knew that he looked at Naruto far more often than what was required of him. It was a habit he was trying to break, lest Naruto assume Sasuke valued him as anything more than a hesitant friend. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, feeling a bit silly talking to a sleeping figure. “Wake up.”

Sasuke didn’t want to jostle Naruto. He wasn’t sure if Naruto would go into attack mode out of reflex; years of being a ninja meant that no one left a battlefield with their mind unscathed.

He raised his voice and said his name once more. This time, Naruto’s mouth twitched and eyelashes fluttered. Naruto looked up at the approaching sun and turned his head back to Sasuke.

“It’s already morning. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Naruto’s voice was gravelly with sleep.

Sasuke shrugged, not willing to tell him the truth. Instead, he said, “It’s time to get going again.”

—————

The next time they stopped, they were surrounded by desert sand.

The sun had been beating down on them for hours, but they’d endured the worst of it and kept moving. Soon after the sun left, stars filled its place.

Sasuke had not seen so many stars for some time, not since his journey with Team Taka. Konoha had too many lights and buildings and trees blocking the sky. A perfect view of the night sky was nearly impossible.

If Sasuke didn’t know him, he’d probably assume Naruto had never seen stars in his life. He’d demanded Sasuke settle down on the desert ground and _take in the view_ with him, despite the two being close to their destination. If they’d kept moving, perhaps they could be in Suna before sunrise. Sasuke voiced those thoughts, even.

Naruto considered Sasuke’s words for a moment, but then went back to pleading and prodding. 

“Sasuke, you know it’s rude to arrive at someone’s home in the middle of the night. Come on, don’t look at me like _that,_ it’ll only be for a little bit.” he said. 

Sasuke huffed and sat down next to Naruto, knowing it was a lost cause to argue with someone so stubborn.

“Besides, we have to talk about what we’re getting into. A celebration, huh. Do you think there’ll be dancing?” Naruto asked, excited at the prospect.

The word _dancing_ evoked a much different response within Sasuke. He scrunched his nose in distaste. 

“I assume so,” he replied.

“That would be something, don’t you think?” Naruto asked. “I’ve never really danced before. When the village celebrated our win in the War, I was totally out of it. I had also just gotten my new prosthetic, and Sakura told me if I didn’t take it easy, she’d rip off my other arm.”

Sasuke had never danced either. He supposed taijutsu was a bit like dancing. Those involved had to exercise good control over their bodies to be effective. Dancing didn’t harm anyone, though, at least not deliberately.

“Man, I wish this was a mission or something. We are going to be so out of our element.” Naruto lamented.

“A lot of these people will be ninjas, as well.” Sasuke said. 

“True, none of us will be able to dance,” Naruto said. He turned his attention to the stars overhead. “It will be nice to see Gaara again. I haven’t seen him in months.”

Sasuke couldn’t easily recall the last time he spoke with the Kazekage. He saw him on the battlefield a handful of times, but couldn’t exactly stop and chat. If he had to think about it, the last time they interacted was at the Kage Summit, when Sasuke tried to kill Gaara. And before that, they’d met at the Chunin Exams, where Gaara attempted to kill Sasuke.

Well, the past is in the past.

“They’re so bright. And close, too. Feels like I could just reach up and touch them.” While Naruto said this, he raised his left arm—the one that remained intact from their fight—and attempted to do exactly that. 

“You know,” Naruto continued, “I was afraid of the dark when I was younger. I mean, I’ve always lived alone, but at night the house was just… _so empty._ So I bought these glow-in-the-dark stars with some of the money the old man gave me for the month. They sucked. You could hardly see them.”

He gave a little laugh. “Anyway, those stars were nothing like this.”

Sasuke felt a weird tug in his heart. He knew what it was like being young and scared and alone in a home that wasn’t really home.

He was still unused to this sort of emotional whiplash he endured in Naruto’s presence. He used to repress any emotion that didn’t fuel his goals for revenge. Later, he believed that he was incapable of feeling anything other than sadness or anger. Now, he felt like every one of those untouched feelings from adolescence had come rushing to the surface.

“So much has happened since then. I’m totally fearless now.” Naruto sent a crooked smile toward Sasuke, and Sasuke wondered how well the other boy could see him in the moonlight.

“Fearless?” Sasuke asked, dubious. 

“Yep, got to be to travel with you. You might run off and leave me to deal with these partygoers all by myself,” Naruto joked.

Sasuke suspected Naruto didn’t mean anything by the words—not like he had the night before—but they gnawed at him. Sasuke had always wanted freedom more than anything. He was as wild as the hawks he summoned. Still, during this journey, the desire to run off and abandon the other boy never overtook him. It had never even crossed his mind.

The idea teased its way into his head.

_To leave, forever. To actually abandon the village for a second and final time._

“I wouldn’t.” Sasuke said. 

Sasuke would get his freedom regardless. He could look toward a future without the watchful eye of ANBU shinobi and crushing weight of expectations and distrustful villagers. He wouldn’t have to answer to anyone save Kakashi or Sakura, both of whom Sasuke respected enough to believe would keep his interests in mind. He didn’t have to cut ties to achieve his goals anymore; he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to.

“Hm?” Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke raised his voice, knowing the magnitude of his words. “I wouldn’t leave you here.”

Naruto eyes widened, a strange sort of happiness swarming across his face. 

After watching Naruto open, close, then open his mouth again, Sasuke heard him say, “I didn’t mean what I said! I knew you wouldn’t. You want to make the _best_ impression on these people, besides.”

Naruto softly knocked his shoulder into Sasuke’s. Sasuke’s mind focused entirely on that single point of contact.

“But, it feels really, really nice to hear you say it,” Naruto continued. “Say it again.”

“Don’t press your luck,” Sasuke said, face reddening. “I’m allowed to change my mind.”

Naruto laughed, “You are. But I know from experience that you never do.”

\---------

The next day, after trekking through an endless plain of sand for hours, the Suna skyline came into view and Naruto broke into a blindingly fast run.

As he neared the narrow strip of land bisecting Suna’s tall earthen walls, Sasuke could see the figure of someone their size waiting there, wrapped in robes and wearing a diamond-shaped hat. 

“Gaara!” Naruto yelled, not bothering to stop his momentum, and pulled the Kazekage into a bone-crushing hug. 

“I’ve missed you so much!” Naruto exclaimed, letting Gaara go to get a good look at his face.

Gaara had not grown in height, but he did look older. He—along with Naruto and Sasuke—was forced to grow up young. And recent events have aged him. Being a leader of one of the Five Great Ninja Nations takes a toll on a person, especially considering the circumstances he has dealt with during his administration.

Gaara was clearly still unused to this sort of attention from Naruto, but he gave him a small smile. “I wanted to see you too,” he said. “It’s why I asked the Rokudaime for you to attend as well.” 

Naruto beamed at that and began to ask as many questions as he could. 

“How have you been? Is everything alright here? Are you swamped with work?”

Gaara answered his questions, not showing as much enthusiasm as his conversation partner, but happy nonetheless. “The village has been busy, as you might expect. I did not want to have a celebration, but the people here deserved it. We’ve grieved for six months, it is time to look ahead.”

It was true that Suna suffered far more casualties in the war than Konoha did. Sasuke assumed that was why they waited so long before properly celebrating.

“It sure is!” Naruto replied, “The world is changing, don’t you feel it? It’s more...peaceful.”

Gaara gave Naruto a fond look and responded, “Yes, I agree.”

Sasuke felt so awkward just standing there, watching them have a conversation. He felt his chest tighten at the sight of Gaara and Naruto interacting so effortlessly. Sasuke knew that he could never have that kind of relationship with Naruto, not after all that they have been through.

“Well, we are very excited to be here. Thank you for inviting us.” Naruto said, and Gaara finally turned his attention to Sasuke. His expression wasn’t as bright as when he was speaking with Naruto just a moment ago, but he wasn’t outwardly rude or disdainful. Gaara gave Sasuke a nod.

“Would you like me to show you two around the village?” Gaara asked. “I realize that you have never been to Suna before, Sasuke. And Naruto, the last time you were here, it was under dire circumstances.”

“We’d love that!” Naruto exclaimed, answering for Sasuke. God, he never stopped smiling.

Gaara turned and walked through the gates of the village.

\---------

The sand village lived up to its title. It was dry and dusty and hot; buildings were made out of clay and stucco, presumably because those materials kept cool air trapped inside. People swathed themselves in robes to protect their skin from the oppressive sunlight. Sasuke was sweating in his clothes.

It _was_ beautiful, there was no denying that. The architecture was unconventional and interesting. The atmosphere was welcoming. While they traveled, Sasuke watched as many villagers greeted and stopped to speak with Gaara. A young kunoichi waved at him and blushed when Gaara subtly waved back. An elderly couple bowed low as he passed through the street.

“Woah, Gaara, you’re so popular,” Naruto said, impressed. 

Gaara shook his head and replied, “I am the leader of this village. My job is to keep them safe and in good spirits and thankfully, they are now.”

Gaara turned a street corner, still continuing his conversation about the state of Suna with Naruto. He was speaking about the natural resources the village possessed when he paused and pointed at a large greenhouse. 

“This is mostly where we grow medicinal herbs to help patients. Suna isn’t the most forgiving environment, so sometimes it’s hard to grow all of what we need. But we’ve been getting much better at this with new gardening technology.”

Gaara continued his tour, pointing out restaurants and recreational facilities. Naruto cooed and asked questions the entire time, playing the perfect guest.

“Our hospital is nearby, along with my quarters. I often sleep in one of the rooms in the Kazekage tower, because it is closer to the center of the village. I can be able to help sooner in case things go awry.” 

Sasuke could not believe how…philanthropic this Gaara was. Despite all the hate and cruelty Suna spewed at him when he was a child, he forgave them. He _loved_ his village, even.

Sasuke didn’t understand that. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to.

“And you two will be staying right here.” Gaara declared, coming to a stop. 

In the past, when Sasuke had traveled, he slept under bridges and in abandoned warehouses and crumbling inns. This house was much nicer than the accommodations he was used to. 

The building was as architecturally intriguing as the rest of the village. It boasted three stories, many windows to allow for natural light, and a domed rooftop. There was even a balcony.

Naruto whistled lowly.

“Damn, we can’t be only ones rooming here. This is the size of my apartment building,” he said.

“There are other emissaries arriving later,” Gaara stated. “You guys should probably settle in soon. Relax before the festivities begin. We will probably see each other later tonight or tomorrow, but if you need me, I’ll be in the tower.”

The two boys thanked him, Naruto much more enthusiastic than Sasuke, and bid him goodbye.

Sasuke turned back toward the house he’d be residing in the next few days.

He really hoped there was air conditioning inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so a few things!
> 
> 1) when i first wrote this fic a YEAR AGO i didnt realize that the Fourth Great Ninja War lasted for three days. i figured it lasted for like at least six months which is why theyre both eighteen bc i personally thought like. couldnt be that short. so theres that discrepancy which i wont fix bc im Masashi Kishimoto now this is My Canon  
> 2) actually thats it really. i did a lot of research for this chapter which is kind of sad. i bought the official databook  
> 3) find me on tumblr @ tsunadesgf :) and pls comment and whatnot i loved reading ur thoughts theyre what made me want to go back to this in the first place


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